I know, it sounds crazy and I am here to tell you that it is! Parenting is no joke. These tiny little people demand three meals a day, every day, plus snacks and various drinks in between. And let’s talk about the drinks. Children are very careless and inexperienced at normal life things like drinking out of cups, so they require sippy cups that are designed to keep your house and other surfaces clean and free of reduced sugar, vitamin fortified, organic apple juice, but also to make you go crazy. Each sippy cup comes with at least three diabolical little parts and I haven’t even mentioned how hard they are to open. To open them, you’ll need a combination of something to grip it with, brute strength and determination. But that’s only half the battle. You finally get it open, only to then have to disassemble all of the pieces. Then once you take them out of the dishwasher, you’ve just got yourself handfuls of sippy cup pieces that you have no clue what to do with. Although if you’re a better parent than me, you hand wash them so as not to leach all of the poison that could potentially be in them since everything is made with poison nowadays. (2014 – if it’s not made with GMOs, it’s made with poison. And it’s probably made with both.)
Alright, so aside from the meals (and let’s call it what it is – 21 meals a week) and the sippy cups, they also have to be bathed. God bless the mamas out there that bathe their kids every day. I certainly don’t have time for that. PR and LB bathe every other day over here and bath night is up for debate if it rains. Also, you have to keep their teeth clean and the chances are that they hate brushing their teeth. Kids like to throw curve balls at you with things like hating having their teeth brushed, but wanting to be flossed three times a day. What’s that about? PR and LB are newly obsessed with flossing. We can’t even get through the bathroom door without them B-lining it to the floss. As if the responsibility of cleaning another person’s poops and boogies isn’t enough, now you also have to pick stuff out of their teeth. Yuck!
There are also a lot of questions that are really difficult to answer. Questions like:
“Why did Aladdin take that apple? Is Aladdin a thief? I thought he was Jasmine’s prince, not a thief.”
“Why does Sam Smith sound so sad? Is he sad?”
“When you had babies in your belly, why didn’t they fall out of your butt when you stood up?”
“How come I can’t go back inside your belly? I wanna see your bones.”
“What happens to a baby in a mama’s belly when they take a shower? They just get a little wet?”
“Why did you give me rotten tomatoes? Oh wait, are these called rotten or raw?”
“Why can you rewind my show on this TV and not on your bedroom TV?”
“Why can’t I watch a movie that’s PG13? Can I watch it when I’m 88? Will you watch it with me when I’m 88?”
“Why do you still have your boobies? We don’t have any more babies and boobies are for feeding babies, so you don’t need yours.”
I could keep going, but I think you get it. It’s a lot of work with the flossing and the meals and the questions and the sippy cup management. But then you look down at faces like these and think, “Eh… let’s do it again tomorrow.”
Two Three Or Not Two Three... 
This is hilariously accurate! Lately my girls have been taking long naps and going through food so fast I need to make a second grocery store trip during the week!
And no one wants to go grocery shopping twice in a week! We have two that hate eating, so I prepare the meal and they don’t want to eat it. Annoying!
Oh and every.single.day I am torn about having a third baby! A part of me is like ‘it’s not SO bad’ and the other part says ‘yes it is!’
Hahaha! I feel the same way!